Enemy Within

2011-08-02T20:16:00.002+08:00

Gone? And back. And then gone again? Now back. I am hoping my long break from writing in here has improved my writing altogether. Although i have not been writing here for a verrryyy long time, i have had other outlets to let these precious juices flow at.

I wrote poems on Facebook. Not as 'Notes' but as 'Status Updates'. I write them for all to see at a point in time. Don't really care if people like it or not, but i wrote it for myself. It is a way for me to look back and think of the things that has transpired in my life. That is what writers normally do. They write to understand themselves better, and answer difficult questions. I have mine answered and i have mine questioned again. It is never-ending. Answers and questions through and through until you go kaput.

Going kaput is not altogether bad. The rests of all resting. Life is hectic or so we were made to think. It would be a walk in the park if only we know what to expect. It is the little shockers that made us stop in our tracks and make us question whether we are going the right way. Never mind that we don't know the right way, but we are assuming it to be right. Religion is the right way. But look at the amount of religious beliefs that you can gather on the internet.

Many do not subscribe to the idea that there is an intelligent design governing our bodies, our minds and the world around us. I for one believe that there is a god. Yes, one god. Cause i want to believe.

2010-10-30T05:14:00.002+08:00

Dear Azlina,

Lucky for you, cause i went crazy. i couldn't accept the facts that was happening to me. it was hard for me to swallow it because, simply, i didn't understand. preparing for four exams wasn't easy. it was the most difficult thing to do last week. you kept appearing in my papers. i spent a ten minutes staring at the exam paper today hoping you would smile at me. yes, just smile, because i was going crazy. the pats on my back were just dirtying my thoughts. they weren't helping. it was difficult. and difficult is just an understatement(you like saying that word, understatement). i had to find an answer.

i tried looking for answers everywhere and couldn't find it. i asked friends. i asked your friends. i asked anyone who has loved and been loved, for the right answer. and still, i couldn't get it. i wasn't looking for a solution. i was just looking for some kind of an understanding that would help me move some will into this body. believe me when i say i started hearing voices cause i did. this was the toughest part of my life i've never wanted.

the reason i am doing this is because i want to tell you that i have finally got it. you were there again tonight. lightning don't strike the same place twice they'd say. i beg to differ. the same pain i felt that night came over me again. shock and awe i would say of my war tactics and shock and awe it was. i was shocked that you were there. i did not what to do. i wanted to rub your arms but my face fails me. i wasn't able to smile. you went in. after i called you, i was fuming mad. the next thirty minutes was a nightmare. i couldn't hold it any longer. i yelled. and i slammed the lift buttons. i punched the lift door irritated that the lift was late. then, i yelled again. and i knocked on the lift door again. now angry that it is not coming. i stooped down to look at the lift buttons and i shouted at it. i was fuming mad that the lift didn't come. and then it came. i told you i went crazy. i kept asking myself why you came again. i asked them and they couldn't answer. i know it now.

you have once asked me how i would feel if i met myself. you didn't like me anymore. you hated me for my behaviour. i was the worst i could be. and you still hung ard with me. now that i'm thinking about it, i don't know how you could do it. i was vile. but you could still tell me that you love me. you could still hold my hands and talk to me with nice words. i am vile. you should have shove me in front of the bus. you have lived your misery with me. take a look at yourself. you are having fun now. but with me, you are just sorry. i'm sorry. i know what i did wrong. i did many wrong things. i did so many wrong things that i feel you deserve better.

that is why i will stop bothering you. i know. i have been bothering you these past few days. i know you get irritated when i do but i was only trying to understand. you will not be bothered by me anymore. i have things to do too. i still have studying to do. after this? i don't know. all i know is, that i'm done trying to understand cause i know now. i get it. don't worry, i won't hover over you anymore or wait for you to read your messages on whatsapp. nor would i check your tumblr or facebook every minute of my waking hours on my iphone. i won't wait for you after you training anymore. i am sure you could be that independent girl again for i believe you are.

you know how to find me. find me if you want. :) happy nice day.

2010-09-22T00:06:00.003+08:00

No motivations? Don't know what to do? Learning something that does not interest you? Whassay you again? I'll tell you this, that is crap talk.

You've got an education, a degree to say the least.

You've got a career that can bring you anywhere in the world.

You've got a family who understands.

And You have got a body that is more than able to look after itself and everyone around you.

I'll say this again, what you've just said is crap talk. And I hate crap talk.

I've got friends who would jump at the opportunity to study if they could 'afford' it. And here you are saying you are, what's that again, 'studying something that you have zero interest in??'. My friend would not mind if his bank is sucked dry by the school so long as he has a degree to fall on to in life later.

Your work deals with patients. My friend have to deal with danger. Another have to deal with criminals. Another, with immigrants. What is the difference? You can go anywhere in this world to make a living while they have to start from scratch. That is how better your job is as compared to other people. It is applicable pretty much everywhere. Anywhere.

Motivation. The very thing that keeps anyone moving forward. It is your family! I am very sure that they do not de-motivate you. So i am pretty sure that they are somewhat a motivating factor in your life. Some of them maybe yearning for you to bring them out for a treat. Maybe, she would want you to get her a new pair of earrings. Or he would love if you could help out with the decorations. How is that not motivating for you? How is that not an enough motivations for you to move forward in life??..to live???

You need more motivation? Let's go to an old folk's home. Or the orphanage. Or the School for The Deaf. Let us go there and seek the additional motivation that is needed. I am very sure, no, absolutely sure that motivation will find you there instead of the other way.

There are people who have no hands and they go through life like you and me. Motivation? What about that guy with no right brain? What does he really have left? That China man with half his body gone? I did not think he travelled much.

Those tears that you shed, they shouldn't. God loves the strong-willed. Find the right thing to cry about, and let the tears flow. Crying just softens your insides and make you weaker than you should be.

I am just saying..your life is great. Truly, your life is great. A lot of people would love to swap places with you right now. A lot. But do not make it sound like you are having it worse than many other people around the world. Cheer up. Look on the bright side. Count me out and see that you have the best of friends who need you more now than ever. Cheer up k? :)

2010-09-20T11:48:00.003+08:00

We should be more afraid of man than any other thing. I'm so scared of people, i make new friends when there is a need. Like a a very urgent or important need. Other than that, i feel i don not have to make friends just for making it. People scare me.

They scare me more than a dog. A dog bites and barks loudly, but i'm more scared of him than the dog.

I'm getting better at my drawing now. Ooo. More of copying pictures than drawing from my perspectives.

I love to barbeque. I like to stand over the grill and man it like a man should. I like the smell of the smoke, the heat and the smell of cooked food. I can stand for hours over the grill and work it. I don't mind of smoke of my clothes. I like it.

I feel like going for a scuba-diving lesson somewhere off Singapore. The waters are attracting me some some. How much ar?

Oh ya. Maybe i should go make a passport first... Dang.

The drive in life. THE DRIVE. Where do i find it? How do i acquire it? I sure knows what to do with it, but i can't seem to find it. Some people have it and does not seem to lose one bit of it. All i want is to find it and keep it for all eternity.

I just feel that it is important for anyone to have it in life so as to not falter in the middle. People who have it are too far in front and its tiring to catch up to them. It is i have used up all my fuel but they are still at Full.

In silence, i admire these people. THE DRIVE is hard to maintain. But for those who are able to maintain it, they reap its rewards. Great rewards that can't be bought or sold. I tasted some of these but they were the cheaper substitutes. I'm sure the real thing taste much much better.

'It is all in the mind', they'd say. I don't know for sure cause i've search for it there. It really is not there.

I'll still be searching for it even if it means that sacrifices have to be made.

2010-09-04T19:31:00.002+08:00

I can't dream. I don't know why, but i can't dream. I want to dream. I don't really care if dream is Satan's form of trickery or not but i want to dream. I feel it is essential for a person to dream in his sleep. For it will provide a special kind of push, or pull that is needed in life.

I'll be heading to Bali soon enough. Ooo. Bali. I like Bali. Bali is the first on my list of countries-i-should-visit-before-40. I just hope nothing will stop me from going. Ooo.

I miss my training at Outward Bound School, Pulau Ubin. The one where we all woke up at 6 to go for a 2.4km jog. Every single day we would be doing that in the morning. Prep run for the bigger one, 10km.

I love running see. I'm just lazy.

Can anyone help? I'm looking for books by this guy, F. X. Toole. I want any one of his books. Not going to buy online, it is best if i could get it new. Point me to where i could acquire them, and i'll thank you. Please. If you know.

Hey Ven, meet up. It has been a while. Crucify me for my wrongs but lets meet up. You are the one who is very much missed. Cause you care.

2010-09-03T15:05:00.002+08:00

It is too fast. These days are too quick and brief. 24hrs now seem to pass by without much hoot. Scary if you think about it. The world is getting older. Time is getting older. It is not able to sustain moments or happenings like before. It's like, time slips away in between...

I thin it is about time we slow everything down and see. Look at the pond in your school. Count the fishes. Do you even know what kind of fishes are those?

Take a moment and have a good look at your mother. See those marks on her face, those wrinkles. Are those your fault?

Take a moment and breathe.

I'm going for a jog today.

2010-09-01T12:07:00.002+08:00

I'd like to think of myself as a paradox. A big moving, breathing paradox. You agree?

Problem. I know of a way to handle it. Face it. Fastest and simplest way to get around to handling a certain problem. It may not be the easiest but it is sure as hell the best.

Schrodinger's cat. I would like to think of it as alive. Nothing the matter. I just love cats.

I envy the rock. For it is stoic.

I envy the sun. For it is strong.

I want to, one day, swim in the seas. Not the salty kind but the big blue oceans. The ones that would make a fish out of me...or a puffed-up corpse. Imagine i am a fish-food. From fibre to fats to protein. I have it all. But do they really need it?

What is the best way to start painting?

Just start painting. With anything. About anything. Anytime. Just start doing it. That is how you start painting. Painting skills? You'll get it when you start painting.

The same goes for everything else. Learning an instrument or building a website. Writing a book or running for a marathon. Just start doing it.

Dancing. It's the sex of the feet. Sexy...

Oh. And yes. Brace yourself. For the next coming months till Jan 2011, it is going to be a fun ride. Take care! *gives a thumbs-up*

2010-08-30T18:55:00.003+08:00

so ok.. one may seem to change after a year or two. one may not be the same thereafter. this happens when circumstances are put into the picture. circumstances, being it, are implicating. it moves lives and moments in life. circumstances has its cause and effect that may change someone.

honestly, i hate circumstances.

2010-07-01T22:59:00.002+08:00

i've got a MacBook. Yes, i do.

I'm so happy that ive got a MacBook. Truly truly happy. My girlfriend got it for me. Yes, she did. She's great you know. A really great girlfriend. I am very very sure if she's single right now, she won't be single for long. She's smart to boot.

A MacBook. Can you imagine??

Well, today we went to watch Eclipse. The one with Robert Pattison. *cue screamings*

Here is how i see the movie is like. Bella, super-indecisive hell-of-a-girl. Edward, dumb knob. Jacob, Da Man. All in all, Wolves Rocks! 1.5/5

School's in. Ahh~ The smell of books and carbon on paper, i miss them. Have to do well this time round. And well just doesnt quite cut it with my friends.

2010-06-11T21:39:00.003+08:00

Back. For now.

I'm drained but i just feel like writing. Hello world. You're fine. Love ya.
World Cup is in. In South Africa. My guess, Cameroon will bring home the Cup. Germany is a hot favourite with lots of my friends. I don't know for sure but we'll see.

That was a quick update..or not. I'll write back..or not.

2009-11-13T03:29:00.002+08:00

Ho Ho HO! This should be fun.
Now that everyone has pretty much stopped blogging or reading blogs, i am back.
Kudos to Facebook for changing the world. That is one step i would want to follow. Change the world.
I'm sleepy but i've just had coffee 'katai'. Makes me fat. Makes anyone fat. Keeps me awake...but fat. I like those odds. Yes...i am fat. Very. Hahaha! Happy lah... Got very beautiful girlfriend, got driving license, got books to read, movies to watch, music to listen, parents to love, places to go, plans made and planned and doing. You get me...

*waves to Azlina* Hello babe! :D Hehehe!

It's been raining alot these days. Trouble thing is....well, there isn't much trouble for me. Nice you know, to sleep in your room during rainy days. Soooo comfy.

Right now, i'm reading Underground by Haruki Murakami. Azlina bought it for me. Halfway through now. I take some time to finish a book. This book is no exception. But nice lah. It delves into the Japanese psyche during the Tokyo Subway Sarin Gas Attack. *shudders*

Ok bye!

2009-05-28T00:13:00.005+08:00

First and foremost, i would like to thank those who texted me good/best wishes on my birthday. Thank you very much. I did reply to one(not my babe) and did not do the same to the rest. I'm sorry but i am also grateful for what i have received. Although...there were a few nos. i did not recognize(my phone just resetted you see)

Yep...It was my birthday. Not too long ago, see.
And boy, i didn't know i would have had soo much fun on that day....!

It all started in the morning. 9 o'clock in the morning.
I couldn't really wake up. I was frolicking since 6 am. I got home at 3 am the last night because of work(Death call ah).
I didn't know what really woke me up at 9 that morning, but i knew i heard giggling. Giggling?? In my Bedroom?? I turned my head and body to meet this giggling and there she was lah! My girlfriend beside my bed looking at me sleep for the past i-don't-know-how-long. I was soo ashamed(Hey, i've never woken up with a woman staring at me sleep) that i hid my face in the pillow.
Apparently, she had plan this surprise wake-up-call a long time ago. She and my brothers were in cahoots over this one. My mother was in this one too i was told.
She actually served my brothers and mum spaghetti. My babe actually asked her mother to cook for me spaghetti. And she brought a lot lah. When i exited the toilet, everyone was already stuffing their face with spaghetti! Oi! Who is the birthday boy?? Haha.

That was one surprise. 2nd one. She baked me brownie cupcakes. With black icing!!! Too bad there is no picture right now. But i'll show it some day. Have i ever mentioned to you of her brownie cupcakes? They are to die for. Serious.

The third surprise came in a tin. The metal tin. She was really eager to want me to open the tin and so i did. I was excited. Mcm best gitu ah. Opening the presents. Heee!
In the metal tin were an assortments of stuffs. Of my needs and wants are in that metal tin.
There were chocolates. Not one. Or two. Or three. But lotsa! And i mean lotsa! KitKat Dark Chocolate. Espresso Beans in Dark Chocolate. Ferrero Rondnoir. Old Gold Dark Chocolate. And there is this one more that has 99% cocao in it. Yes... I love it dark. My baby likes it white. Her boyfriend likes it dark. She always gets me dark chocolate whenever she chances upon them. This time, she has found them all and places them in this metal tin. Oooo..Dark..
In the same metal tin, there's a bottle of Skippy's Peanut Butter. Why would my babe get me peanut butter, you would ask. Because i LOVE peanut butter. Especially the creamy ones! During my NS days, my cupboard will be filled with a few bottles of peanut butter. Nevermind the bread. A finger and peanut butter is good enough.
What are my needs? She got me an air freshner. Not those normal ones. This one has motion sensor. Cool kaper?? Haha!
She got me a gym towel. Black..... Oooo!
Oh! She also got me Eclipse Mints...Dark! ahahaha..!
In all that 'darkness', she got me the cutest thing. She got me a glow-light. A REALLY CUTE GLOW-LIGHT! You have got to see it to believe it. It is soo darn cute. It glows green. And it only lits up when you press its head. Spoka! That is its name. I was going to sleep last night and i turn this glow-light on and i was beaming. I was soo happy. Looking at that light reminded me of my baby. She is also cute, see.

So!, after getting me fed and dressed(no she didn't dress me though), we were off. She told me that we are heading towards her home. To the south that is...
She was actually bringing me to a movie. At Vivocity. At Golden Village. AT GOLD CLASS!!! And the movie..? Star Trek!! I thought this is a wonderful gift already. A movie i've been wanting to catch, in THE cinema hall that i love. We were not late after all. She was worried i might not catch the whole show, but we did see it from the start.
The movie was super duper greater. Really good movie. Helps alot if you were a fan.
What made the movie better was the Gold Class treatment. Heaven!
But the cherry was watching it with my babe by my side. She did twitch here and there whenever Zachary Quinto came on screen but i know she loves me too. Kan dear? Kan?
Haha!

Now..how often does your boyfriend(if you're a girl and attached) goes to a saloon to have his hair cut?
It was sure as hell, my first time ever. Yup..She 'belanja' me go cut my hair at Jean Yip! Woot! Fun ah.. Shampoo. Scalp massage. Cut. Styling. And when i told the hairstylist that it was my girlfriend who brought me in there as a birthday present, he gave us 20% discount! Discount on my birthday! I was sure it was more than 20%, kan babe? But it was a damn nice treat. And do i look good..

Next surprise, Science Centre!! Yes! Science Centre!! I have always been wanting to go there lah. Jalan-jalan there also fun seh. But we are always late. That place closes at 6pm. Bugger.
And on our way there, my babe told me that there will be a special exhibition that she wants me to go. It was the Da'Vinci exhibition lah eh...! Fuhlamak! Serious fun man. His works were on display and we got to touch-and-play a few stuff. Too bad we can't take photos in there...it was forbidden.
We spent a good 2hrs++ in Science Centre 'learning'. 2hrs wasn't enough, trust me. I especially like the Optical Illusions section of the centre. Cool ok..

Soon it was dinner time. I didn't wish to drive to far out because it was rush hour. Bugger. Also, i didn't wish to eat out at expensive places(Kintamani Restaurant is expensive ok?). So i thought, why not we go to somewhere near, like West Coast Plaza. There also got food what.
We ate at this place that serves olive oil fried chicken. The food were ok. Nice. Not wonderfully tasty..but nice. Teri-Q Chicken is very nice. But...we're not visiting that place anytime soon. It was expensive. Seriously expensive.

So... That was it, pretty much. That was my birthday. WAS. It was a wonderful birthday day for me. And it had to end... blahhh...!
I know my babe worked hard the day before and on the day itself. She woke up really early to help cook the spaghetti. The night before, she was out nearly the whole day to find my presents. When she was at home, she had to wrap it. To know that someone actually cares so much about you, to sacrifice her time and money, its a gift for me already.

At the end of the day, she has another surprise for me. It was the red hearts pillow from ikea. She got that the night before and she decorated it with gold paint. It is beautiful. I really love it. I will show you the picture of it when i could. It's really nice. It goes really well with the glow-light.

Her birthday will be coming soon enough... Tit for tat babe!

2009-05-05T01:30:00.002+08:00

She came today. She brought me food. I am touched. She surprised me today.
She came all the way from the South to the North to send me food. And she was a little sick. Still, she sent me food.

I am searching no more for i already have her.

2009-04-20T00:31:00.002+08:00

I swear...i am experimenting of the many ways i could write a blog. I am plain-freaking-drowsy right now. I need sleep. But noooo. I wanted to blog!
No backspace? how? Can? Power!

Now i lost. I got nothing in here. *taps head*
hmmm

Eh, that movie... Benjamin Button? What is it again? Curuouis Case of Bejamin Button! oh ya...I didn't manage to catch that one. Shucks!
Ok!, i go sleep now. Boring already. and you like soo busy like that...

2009-04-01T01:58:00.003+08:00

My Restaurant. A game on Facebook. Very very cute lah. I run a restaurant(mine is called Comot's Eatery) and i employed myself as its waiter. My avatar is damn cute. I made my avatar look like Pall Bearer from World Wrestling Federation(he is Undertaker's manager). Hehe! A morbid guy running a restaurant. Why not! My Restaurant what.

Thank you sayang for the magazine. Thank you soo soo much.

Babies are cute. I like babies. I may not be ready to have one right now(neither financially nor legally) but i like them all. Especially the one at Pacific Coffee Company just now. Caucasian baby. Blue eyes. I did not manage to make the baby smile but i got his attention for some time. With a crumpled tissue paper! I hid behind a big couch and called for his attention to quell his crying. It worked! He was on to me for a long while, until he decided to bawl again. He was angry. I could see it. He suppressed any feeling of happiness and was intent on crying. Babe told me he might have soiled his diapers and he needed change. I just thought he wanted his mum's attention. He wants to be carried. But i like him. *pats baby's head*

2009-03-31T12:13:00.002+08:00

I just came back from a IPPT. iI came back home to shower. I can't wait to shower. Why? Because my toiletries bought specially by my babe is super duper gooder. I smell really good after my shower last night. Like power kan? Ah~~

It's 1 Yr 1Day today! :D

2009-03-31T00:00:00.002+08:00

7 socks, red-eye contact lenses and a piece of dried flower flattened in a plastic. These are the items i have not mentioned i've gotten from her.

The piece of the dried flower is a little something between us. Holland Village. Starbucks. Valentine's Day. She is still holding on to items like those. Now i have one item to remember her by.

I don't really know why 7 socks but heck! i need all of them. She knows i need socks. Lotsa. She has seen some of my 'beautiful' socks. Hehe..

And one more item that i will use with immediate effect. A bed-sheet. Yup. Bed-sheet.
We were walking in Ikea looking for her items one day. Then she came upon a bed-sheet that was both cheap and very comfy(that was what i thought). I told her i like that bed-sheet. So she places the bed-sheet in the shopping bag. At the end of the day, we both forgot about that bed-sheet. Soon enough, she said she was gonna use the bed-sheet on her bed instead because it is so comfy. Then i thought it doesn't matter, because she needs it too. Skali today, the bed-sheet was found lying at the very bottom of the box she gave me. :D

My babe is the best. Not because she buys me stuff, it is because she is really thoughtful and caring. I really love you babe..

2009-03-30T23:21:00.003+08:00

She bought me the bestest present i've ever gotten. A Spa treatment!!! At Rasa Sentosa Resort lahhh!!!
SPA!!!!! From head to toe.... Oooo... I'll be damned...i got her only one thing....
But a Spa treatment? It was wonderful! Really... The place was exclusive. Too bad we didn't take photos.

She also got me Silkpro, L'Oreal Men Expert and China Blue shower cream!!! The last item was from Marks and Spencer. She remembered when i mentioned that i like the smell of China Blue. And that was quite a long time ago.

She even got me CashCard lahhhh...... $55. Like...wahlauwei.. This is because i'd always forget to top-up my CashCard before exiting the carpark/or entering the ERP. She bought one specifically for me to put in my wallet.

Happiness abound for sure but i feel kinda sad, because i got her only one thing. Argh..

2009-03-30T07:08:00.002+08:00

Our first year!
Hey babe! It's our first year! Can you believe that?!
She has something for me later. I can't wait. I can't sleep. Oooo...!

Ok. I'm going to see her reaaaaalllllyyyy soon. So i have to go get ready now. Gonna shower now. Bye!

2009-03-25T23:59:00.002+08:00

I just saw Star Trek's latest movie trailer. And gosh!
Movie's slated to open in May 09. Hmm.. Thing is though, i was never a fan of Star Trek(ST). But the trailer.... Gah!

Hello people! Haha! *waves hand*

Oh! I've caught Watchmen. Erm... I really don't know. Honestly, i caught that movie like 30mins after it started. So...yeah. But i'll say this, it is damn fine....if it wasn't a print-to-screen. I mean, it really didn't do the graphic novel justice. Compared to the graphic novel, it is pretty much a let down.
But! Rorschach! He was played out very very well. Kudos dude! I really like that guy lah. So cooool!

Imagine the horror...
Phone in back pocket. Forgets about phone and enters lorry to drive around. Exits lorry by sliding off on my butt. Phone in back pocket...
Grr!

Prawning is fun.....! But expensive. 3hrs=$25. Hmmm. WonderBabe caught 6 prawns, so..... ooook lah.... Fun though. We'll be going for it again. For sure.
Forget about pictures. I'm too lazy to post any.

Oh ya. WonderBabe. Yup. Calling her WonderBabe. For a lot of reasons. Do you know that she could read a map? I've never met any girl who could read a map proper. Never. We were from Ikea Tampines and we wanted to supper at Simpang Bedok. She actually helped me find directions on the street directory from Ikea Tampines to Simpang Bedok using minor roads. Which she says is faster. Which is true!
She is really very caring. She provides for me at most times. I feel really touched when she cares for me. Really do. "Have you brushed your teeth?", she would ask. And she would find a tooth-brush for me if i have not.
She is garang too. hehe! Another story for another time lah.

There is something about the night life. I don't know. Is it the coolness? Or the darkness? I would think it is the quietness. I love everything about it.
Imagine this... You got bored after surfing the net. You pick up your car-key and exits the house. In the cool of the night, you enter your car and starts the engine. On a cool night, there are no use for the air-conditioner. The rolled-down window is all you need. No idea is a good idea at this time. You move off. Driving around your neighbourhood. Having no destination or errand, you drive on. Its 3am in the morning and chances are, the roads are all clear. You start to enter the expressway. Soon you will find yourself in another neighbourhood that is foreign to your own. And all you should do, is to just soak it all in. It's good.

I like Sengkang. I like Sengkang in the morning. It is soooo nice and happy. Do visit Sengkang in the morning. Anyways, Sengkang is quite a nice place to live in. But i've heard that the house there are really small. How babe? We buy shophouse dah lah eh? :D

We have gone to Compasspoint! I will go there again.
And Great World City. I like it there.

I actually paused writing because my babe hired me on facebook to work for her in her restaurant.
Don't you think facebook is cool? I think so.. Irritating at times, but cool.

Hmm. Klah. Saya nak tido. Nights!

2009-02-25T02:02:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry, dear azlina..

I should have gone home earlier.
I'm really sorry.

I love you, babe..

2009-02-03T00:19:00.006+08:00

Yeay! Yeay! Got new camera!
She is one happy girl lah.

To think...

Hahahaha! That was on my old camera. A Nikon. Yeay.. Old stuff. And the photos are from our post-supper date.

Prata Bomb and Mango/Strawberry Lassi. I want.
And you know what? My babe eats alot! And i mean ALOT! So much so that it gives me headaches just to find places that i should bring her to eat. We went to The Prata Place that day and she ordered food enough for 5-6 persons. Gah!
But see lah...after eating, she's really happy(Refer to above photos). How to refrain her from eating?

2009-01-31T20:41:00.001+08:00

Hello!

=)

2009-01-21T00:11:00.001+08:00

I feel sucky...

I am sorry...

2009-01-20T00:34:00.004+08:00

Play Games!!!

Games are good for your health. It is. Well...maybe.
It does help with your focus and concentration. It was reported that a driver drives better if he has played any kind of racing games compared to a driver who has not played any games.

My babe bought me T-shirts!!!
3!
#1
#2
Annnnndddd...
#3!

She has the same #3 t-shirt too. Cute kan? Me and her wearing the same tees, walking around Vivocity. Chilling at PCC. Taking photos(Thanks Hilman!) near the waters. Hahaha!

2009-01-14T01:07:00.003+08:00

I like this song. And isn't she cute? : )

Do you know that i listen to Gold 90.5FM when no one is around? Not that i am ashamed of anyone knowing. It is just that not everyone wants to listen to what i am listening. Haha!

Damn, i missed the Tattoo Convention!

I love the sounds on this one. Hehe!

You know what, 2008 was a really good year. It was. A damn great year i should say.
I celebrated my birthday with friends and family.
I received my driving licence. Finally. Took me awhile there.
I completed NS, with a bang? Haha!

I also found my love, my sweets, my heart that year. She rocked my world and i'll rock hers.
I went to concerts with her. To the movies with her. Drove her around Singapore with her by my side. Sat by the waters at West Coasts with her. Coffee with her. Had breakfast/lunch/dinner with her.
I've held her and kissed her. Squeezed her hands. Smelled her hair. Talked to her at great lengths. And stared into her eyes.
I have that special person whom i could enjoy life with.

She's all that i need.
I love you Azlina!
*muacks!*
: )

2009-01-04T21:56:00.002+08:00

Don't wear black to a funeral. I'll repeat my self... DO NOT wear black to funeral. Please. It is just too overrated. It is a muslim funeral so why wear black?

Wear white! White is good for funerals. Why would you want to wear black to a funeral?? Is it cool? I'm sorry but i just thought Islam is all about being clean and pure.

So i've watched lotsa movies. Woot!!! Ip Man, Yesman, Twilight, Bedtime Stories, Seven Pounds. Yup.....that is pretty much it i think.
Do watch Seven Pounds k. It is good. Really good. A tear-jerker. Its about a man who has done wrong and has pretty much set his life out to making other people's life better. You've got Will Smith and you'll know what you're getting. He's gooood.

Ip Man is really good too. A story about Bruce Lee's master. Ip Man does Wing Chun. I didn't know Bruce lee does Wing Chun. Have you watched Fighter in the Wind? That one is good too.

All the other movies you can go watch if you want too. Its good too. But Twilight is bad. Its horrible. It is soo bad. Forget Twilight. Twilight is bad because it makes my babe dreamy and just smiling to herself the whole day. No good movie it is.

I think my babe loves ruggers. So i wanna play rugby. Can?

Am watching this while typing here.

Cool kan? And fierce.

2009-01-04T01:02:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year people!
Resolute much? I thought so too. Hehe!
Celebrate much? I guess...

New blog layout much? Yup. Courtesy of my babe. I love it! It's the way i want it and more. Love the picture of an animal of sorts on the left top-bar. Cooool!

Still wearing my ring!

Went bowling with 'the boys' just now. Fun lahhh! Karaoke next?

2008-12-30T00:00:00.007+08:00

About the ring.

It is from GOLDHEART!!!
Get the load of that!
I once bought a Nike ring from X'Craft. I like that ring. And then i lose it somewhere. Back then i was still a kid.
But...this. Titanium baby!!! Titanium!!! Two metals, titanium and steel! Black titanium!!!
We were at the junction at Zion Rd and she shove a little white box into my body. She was squirming with delight already. And then, i saw the words GOLDHEART!!! "Confirm jewellery...", i thought to myself. And there it was. A freaking modern-man ring!!! I'm wearing it right now while typing away and glancing over once in a while to look at the ring. It is damn coooool! It's black! Black titanium!
She knows me...

I'm happy, so you can see...
Hmm..

And then she wanted to meet today(29 Dec).
(Cut short) Something was ringing in the box. It was this...

It's a Zinc II. Go Youtube this name and you'll be surprised. Because i am!!!
She got me a freaking phone! A handphone! Not just any handphone. Its a PDA phone. A Zinc II!!! HTC Diamond owners, eat your hearts out! This phone even got GPS lah.
I AM sooo happy!!!!!! Who wouldn't be?

Thank you, babe. Thank you soo soo much.
Happy 9th Monthsary, my love....

What more can a boyfriend ask for?
What have i gotten from Babe?
A Victorinox Wallet.
A G-Shock watch.
A Black Titanium ring.
A PDA phone.

I ask for no more....

2008-12-29T09:56:00.000+08:00

This girl gave me a ring.
She's my girlfriend by the way.

More on the ring soon enough...

2008-12-21T05:13:00.002+08:00

HOT

Her new hair is damn hot lah.
Sexy'licious.

I LOVE it!!
Oooo...*drools*

2008-12-20T20:46:00.002+08:00

First thing she said was, "Ahhh! My hair is red!". I could not help but grin really wide just to refrain from laughing my ass off (i was driving a deadie to his 'final resting place') Haha!

Red-headed she is now. Wooot!
You know what they say about red-heads right? It is true. ; )
I'm sure her hair is damn fine...

I'm going to fetch her now. Yup. To see her new (sexy) hair. But i guess 'someone' else has seen it before me. Tsk! Sibuk!

2008-12-07T00:25:00.005+08:00

Boo!

She has reached the 1, 000, 000 NP mark already!
And i'm still far far away from even reaching half of that.

That is mine. Cute kan? That's the name i gave him. Yup! Him. It's a He. : )

2008-11-24T23:43:00.002+08:00

And the Black Knight is crest-fallen.
He seems....dispirited.
*sigh*

How much more can he stay in the shadow?
The shadows of the men before him...
Don't they know he is a man not a child...?

It pains to know that he bears a name-sake.
The very place puts toys of desperation.
And of desperations, he feels shame and pain...and ?

Oh it hurts!

To the meadows he can't go.
To the plains he can't go.
To bath in the perfumes of a more delight...he can't.

The shadows are to blame!

He wonders if that is how it is.
To give until the heart that none is.
But if that is so...

then let the pain be his, but ever more shall be the praise

:)

2008-11-09T01:40:00.004+08:00

My babe made me cupcakes! There is one cupcake that has a red heart on it. Cute kan?
Pictures? Just one.

She gave me cupcakes for our 223rd Day-versary. Like just suddenly, see.
And she made me a card too. A simple one. But nice... :)

Thank you, my love. The cupcakes is really sweet and nice and wholesome. Like you... : )
The card is just perfect and black. Love you so much more.

: )

2008-11-02T02:55:00.002+08:00

It was damn nice. The food was great. Rock music blaring non-stop. Good company around the table. I would love to go for this kind of event again. I just soooo love rock.

And my Babe is damn hot! Rocking hot!

More later.

2008-10-30T23:59:00.002+08:00

: )

Happy 7th Month, dear..

I love you too.

*hugs*

2008-10-30T00:30:00.002+08:00

People........! Hello! : )

1) I will never stop writing here.

2) Two blogs that i will check upon diligently, everyday.

3) Trust me on this; 20th Century Boys is really good.

4) I miss my friends.

5) Where can i get cheap upgrades for my PC?

Alrightey then! 5 topics i should talk about.
Topic 1. is easily said and easily understood.

Let's move on to topic 2 then. The blogging world is on fire...or so it seems....to me at least. That Bloody Critic and Haute Bitches are the two blogs that are the rage on my browser the past weeks. Why are they not?? Lemme ask you....what is better than seeing someone getting a real taste of his own medicine? Nothing right now actually. Karma's a bitch aye friend? No no...not anti-him. I want to see what is he going to do about all this. He's good but apparently he's met his match. Know this friend, if you're good, there's always someone better. So keep working it. Hah!

Topic 3 is a rare gem. Its been awhile right? But hell!
20th Century Boys is my kind of movie. Just the kind i was hoping someone would make. Suspense, mystery, humour, thrill and damn fine cinematography. Enough said...

Yes, i admit it. I do miss my friends. Work takes a lot from you and it is said that 'work life is no life'. It is true. Agree? So yeah...
Hey Joshua!, LAN?
Ven!, treat me at Highlander ah.
Jed!, How is living in the U.S.A?
Matthew! Wait...who is Matthew? Lol!

Do help me on this. I want...no, need is the right word. I need to upgrade my PC. Graphics card, RAM, storage capacity and new processor. One reason: Diablo 3 and Red Alert 3. That's two...but hell!

Good update? No!
Updated? Yes!

Ok!

2008-09-16T23:34:00.003+08:00

i'll be there for you.
i want some of what you're having too.
its true
hand me that pair of shoe
so i can walk with you.
we'll stick together like glue, me and you
that is all i wanna do
its true
so don't be blue...
for you have me....just for you.

2008-09-09T01:57:00.002+08:00

i feel bad
and sad.
that there's no food for the cat.

but the cat is not sad.
for it is actually mad
not glad

i hope i'll be content
because i'm hell-bent
on making the cat descent.

whatever my intent
the cat was not present
for it has found a new scent..

2008-09-08T01:42:00.002+08:00

This is the better choice. Trust me.

Ahhhh....! *shakes head to the sounds*

Clubbing is so boring.
But imagine this.... you and your girlfriend...holding on to each other in the club.
Eyes meeting.
A silent conversation.
Your bodies still and close.
Above all that, the music never seems to stop and you are in the midst of the fray.
...still holding on to each other.

Carbo. I need carbo. Enough said.

Killer cupcakes by Her.
I want one and two and three.
I would kill for one, dear
So don't lemme go on a spree

Comot!

2008-09-01T00:37:00.002+08:00

In the end, i figured out the 'problem' all by myself.

Dragonforce Lyrics
Through The Fire And Flames Lyrics

Listening to this song makes me want to grab any guy and shake him hard. So hard that he'll cry.

And then i'll ask him, 'Why are you crying, damn it?'.
He'll just tremble and not answer.

'Wimp!', i'll shout in his face.

And i'll walk away to 'dance' to this music some more. But 'dance'?
hearts too frail.knees too weak.

An open palm is a sign of honesty on a subconscious level. But he's lying with his palms facing the sky.

I know nothing more.

2008-08-14T00:44:00.002+08:00

One day we will all die.
Violently or in peace.
We will die.

Old men at coffeeshops.
They know. And they are waiting.

One of them is at home, fighting for his life.
They know.
But yet, they are helpless.
And so they are waiting.

Time will come, but when?

It crawls when we reach that age.
Hurts so much then.

But what is a man to do?

Maybe he is already forgotten.
Maybe he is replaced.

But fight still he will...
To his last breath...

2008-08-03T01:37:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dPS-EHl-FE

Too bad i can't embed it no more.
Either i can't or i don't know.
Someone tell me please...

Name of the song is 'The Heart Asks Pleasure First'. I'm hooked. I like it very much.
Like how i like 'Moonlight Sonata'. Same here. Sorrowful and cheery at the same time.

My Babe introduced this song to me. Nice.

I can't hate driving. I love driving so much to hate it. God, please don't let me hate driving.

Those few weeks of working for Coffee Bean And Tea Leaves taught me a lot. It is different. I now work for the family. Really different i'd say. I would love to tell more about my work, but it's making me feel tired just talking about work. So yeah...

I once had a weird dream.
Weird thing about dreams though, is that people will listen to your dream and they will try to interpret that dream for you.

My Babe is now teaching me how to read the notes on the music sheet. She's really clever. And she actually taught herself to play the piano.
And we are watching ABBA on YouTube right now

2008-07-24T22:13:00.008+08:00

A picture tells a thousand words...

If what was said above was true, then i have spoken alot...
Babe, you are the best! I love you soo much...

2008-06-20T05:33:00.002+08:00

Hi...

Ummm...

Lookit the time ya'all.

Yup...that is right.

I can't sleep again.

I have just finished watching Jumper.
Good show. Boring actors (and lead actress. Sans Samuel) Good story...which could be better with the right mix of actors.
3.45/5 for Plot/Story
2/10 for mediocre acting.

So yeah...am still not asleep after the movie.

Have not had any sleep yet...at all.

She is working right now. Yup...graveyard shift. Hah! Graveyard...
Hmm...Maybe, just maybe, she's the cause of my sleepless nights...
I think she is...

2008-06-13T04:38:00.006+08:00

I was up at 2am. And i can't go back to sleep since then.

And since i am soo bored right now, i have decided to blog. Hahaha

I have burnt a CD for myself before i decided to blog. There is Amy Winehouse in that CD. And also The Bee Gees. Boney M and a little of other artists that i like. And a little of Awie to. Just to make sure that when i lost this CD, the founder would know that i love Awie...well, his songs at most. I don't really care about him. Well, actually, i hate him. For nearly marrying Erra Fazira. Gosh!

*looking around the room*
Oh ya! Hey guys, i have a cool new item to show you.

Cool kan?? It was a present. A birthday present. From the brothers. Yup. My brothers. Two of them to be exact.

That's them! Told ya they're good-looking. The both of them are already taken. (i think) The middle one is still single though.

Lol!!!
Babe...just joking, ok?

Hahahahahahahaha....hah...hah..haiz..

Anyways, this is her.

Cute kan? My babe i mean..
The crane she did. The photo i took.
i miss her lah. comot!
She should be up by now...she's on morning shift today.
It is already 5.27 am. And i am still not asleep yet.

I had a dream just now. A really good one. As with all my dreams, i can't remember them. But i know this one is good because i was smiling when i woke up from it. Then i can't go back to sleep.

I have a little secret to tell.

I need sleep.

And i haven't been getting enough right now.

There's a cough syrup on my table right now.

Caution:
This medicine may cause drowsiness

That's what it says on the bottle.

And i need sleep.

Took two long drag from the bottle.

Now, i'm going to sms my babe.

I'll go to sleep when she has replied back. or not.

:)

2008-06-02T23:22:00.003+08:00

Did you know...?
....that a shark must constantly be moving forward to circulate water through it’s gills in order to stay alive?
So much so, that they have to move forward even when they're sleeping.

What about us humans?
Human beans...
We can't afford to be staying in the past. We all need to move forward. We should pick up our belongings and move forward no matter how cloudy the space in front is. What matters is that we have made a step to leave the past.

See, like in the case of the shark, if he were to stay in one position long enough, he would die.

We won't die if we were to stay in one point in time in the past but what good would it bear on our lives. We need to move forward physically, mentally, and spiritually or else we become weak, stupid, or broken.

Or would we?

What about history?
Haven't we understood so much from the past?
Haven't we avoided disaster just by studying mistakes made in the past?

What say you?

2008-06-02T01:25:00.002+08:00

It has been an hour since my ORD official day.

And i actually forgot my date with my Army mates. Damn! Damn Damn!!!

My Police mates? I meet them on a daily basis! Of sorts... So often, to the extent, we don't have nothing much to share but police life stories rehash.

But...Army mates? As it is, it has already been a difficult task to gather everyone on a single day. And on the day when everyone came down to gather, i forgot all about it. I soooo wanna punch myself in the face right now.

2008-05-28T00:28:00.001+08:00

You know what?

Not today...

2008-05-27T01:24:00.009+08:00

It has been an hour past my birthday. Damn...
Honestly though, as things were unfolding through the week to today, i can't help but think that there are....that there are some.....hmmm, nvm......It'll be cool.

But it has been the best birthday this poor soul has gotten. I swear. Surprises, presents, kisses and her.

Nothing beats having a girlfriend like her.
She made a birthday card for me. A big birthday card.
She gave me presents. Lotsa!
She gave me a treat. AT THE CAROUSEL!!
She watched a movie with me. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls!!!
It was a surprise after another surprise.

My birthday card. I love this card the most. Firstly, it is hand-made. I'm a sucker for hand-made stuff. Secondly, she wrote those words. Penned down thoughts and feelings on a hand-made card... I love you too, babe.

This is my box-full of presents. Under those cover are books. BOOKS! With an 's'. Books that i love and wanted. And a Rubik's cube. A 4X4 cube!!! Lol...! And chocolate covered coffee beans. Chocolates!

See...Books! Chocolates! And Rubik's Cube!
She took note of what i wanted when we went PageOne at Vivo the other day. She is so sweet.

*Sigh...*

That's her in Carousel. That is my love. The one who rocked my world!

Carousel is simply exceptional. The food...simply outstanding. I love her more for bringing me there on my birthday.

After food, we went to watch a movie. Yup. Indie baby!!!
Great movie. Just like the old times. Hahaha... And i watched it with her. On my birthday!

I know i sound crazy or something...but this is simply the best birthday ever. My first birthday with my Helen of Troy. My Cleopatra. My Mata Hari....

2008-05-25T23:47:00.003+08:00

It's not my birthday yet but things are already great.

Family dinner at Sedap Corner. The food is simply *thumbs up*...enough said. But it is really a little expensive.
Then suddenly, before dessert, Chef Skuter bellowed a Happy Birthday song while carrying a chocolate cake and walking towards me. Candles and all. Damn i feel old...
My first ever in a restaurant.
Nice

We took some photos and i realised.....my brothers are really good-looking. Ok nvm!

Family sent me to Pit D47 at East Coast.
Reached there and the whole lot belt out the second Happy Birthday song for me.
Pandan cake.
Two songs in one day...and it's not my birthday yet.
Got a really nice-cool bag from the 'Kampong Melayu'.
Thank you!

BBQ was good. But my babe wasn't around. And i was pretty sad...

Not until after i've settled down to play 'taitee'.
They conspired. Against me. For me.
Wooot!!!
And 'oi!'
I do that to anyone and everyone...even my mother. Lol!
My sweet lil love didn't stay for long though.
She was slurring already.

Sleep is for the weak, i'd say...W!

Met babe in the evening.
Lil birdie said i will be in for a great surprise. But i'm thinking, 'great surprise' is understating what is going to happen tomorrow.
She was soooo happy for me.

And she looks extra beautiful today.
She really does.
She looks beautiful too, on every other day.
But a lil extra today...i realised.

2008-05-21T23:22:00.002+08:00

Ahhh....

Farewell party. It was great. It was splendid. It is not something i will forget. They did my farewell over a BBQ at this really damn cool condominium. And i received book vouchers. Book Vouchers baby!!!

I am really happy. They are really thoughtful. Power lah people!
Izhar! Thanks dude! You are the best colleague i've ever worked with. I'm serious. Be cool.

I'm easily contented by simple things.
Get me a bar of chocolate and i will be so happy. And you will be the one person i am grateful to be a friend to.

Another chapter in this book called Life will be closing. And soon, another one will open. But like all good non-fiction books, the chapters will receive update or fixes. This one is no exception.

I should have gone to P. Ramlee The Musical. Damn...

Aniwaes, James Blunt concert was a blast. He can really rock a concert. Me and babe waited for him after the show, but there was no sign of him after a long wait. He's trying to be funny lar...

2008-05-11T22:09:00.003+08:00

Dear Mummy,

: ) Happy Mother's Day. I love you, mummy. We all do...

You are the one greatest thing that has happened to me. You make my life wonderful to live in. You clear tears away from my eyes when i am sad. You make things right when they are wrong. You provide the best kind of nurturing that i could ever receive. You are my everything.

You are the best.

Whenever i walk with you, i will hold your hand. I will carry your bag for you. I am proud to tell everyone that you are my mum. There was a time someone said i was so caring of you. I told her, 'She is my one and only mother, mdm'.

I will be ever so protective of you mum. I will keep you safe. Like how you kept me safe.

I love you and will always treasure your love.
: ) Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-08T22:47:00.003+08:00

13th May...13th May...13th May.
Woooot.......!!

Hey Citizens of SingVille! Ever wonder if your friend is your relative? Or if your Uncle is your Dad's brother? (wait, that is correct, right?)
Cool Website this is. It keeps my families in trees. Yup.

When i pray, i ask for this from God. And some other stuffs too.

3 more days!!!
Maybe this time round, i should just ask her what she wants. Better that way, isn't it. And she will be happy with what she will get. But then again, there is no surprise...oh well.

Dear Babe...
roses are red, Violet Hill sounds great.
if there's one thing i hate to do, it is to miss you.

2008-05-06T00:11:00.002+08:00

Sideways is a really good movie. Am watching it now as i am typing this down.
It is about this writer and his actor friend having as much fun as they could before the actor friend goes off getting married. From the get-go, it was wine, wine and wine. They mentioned about wine, drank wine and saw vineyard.
I'm still half-way through the movie right now, so i don't know about the ending yet. But i should say this should be a really good movie. It has won a lot of awards. I was actually drawn in when the waiter girl was relating life to a bottle of wine....yadda yadda. Kinda sensual...

I have a lot of first times at this ripe age. Today....is my first time to One Fullerton.
IT IS SO NICE Arh!
Super nice when the IR is completed soon enough. I will go again. To One Fullerton. Yes!!!

Maybe i shouldn't be watching a movie and blogging while chatting. I can't seem to get anyone of those done.

Well, maybe that is how life is. Don't you think, damnit?! You should concentrate on one thing at a time so you could do it perfectly. Easy right? Right? But noooo.......!!!

And now, i'm thinking this Sideways movie is a propaganda tool of the wine company. Like The Last Samurai is a propaganda for American power. Bull-shit!!

Ok.

2008-05-04T00:13:00.002+08:00

Hah...! She felt bad.

You shouldn't feel bad at all. That's what a guy is supposed to do. To lend a helping hand when he is needed the most.
Don't feel bad. I did it because i love you and that is what that matters.

Violet Hill by Cold Play
Introduced to me by my brother. Nice!

Had a game of bowling with you and your best-friends. Cool bunch those two are. And funny. And handsome. And good at bowling too.

Had to cut short everything because Dad declared a state of emergency at work. I had two hours to get to location. Ya huh...

Batam trip anyone? Yes? Hit me up if you want to. I want to ride the ATV, go for paint-ball competition, bungee jump, ride the jet-ski, wakeboard, go for a massage and splurge of food.

2008-04-30T23:26:00.006+08:00

: )

I got a little scared when she cried. : ) But it's all good. She was really happy. And if she's happy, i am happy. Woot!

Dinner was splendid. It was my first time at The Glasshouse. Cool place and good eats. Good service too. We received good service because we were the only customers in the restaurant, that's why.

In case you didn't know, today was the first time i went to the museum. Ya! I am that badly-travelled. National Museum of Singapore was damn fun lah. Go if you haven't already done so. My babe was explaining to me about a lot of stuff there that i didn't know. The air-con, the video wall, the different galleries, Lourve travelling museum. Wow...! Double wow!
And for the uninitiated, its free. From 6pm - 8pm. Right, babe?

I didn't know i was that bad at getting around Singapore till i met my babe.

That's my babe! She's a looker and a keeper.

We both like this song. : )

2008-04-30T10:03:00.002+08:00

Hi!

: )

Today is our 1st monthsary. Yay!

She's the girl. She's my girl. My babe. Love you babe!

Yup. I call her babe. And a lot of other nice names too.

We are going to Fish & Co @ The Glasshouse later for dinner : )

The Gap shirt is really nice. Thank you, babe! I'll see you later, ok?

2008-01-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

So, where did i left off.....?

Yeah! The accident.
Well, it was nothing much. No blood spill. Some pedestrian, who thinks his Dad must've paid extra when buying the house, decided that it is best that he crosses the road without following any traffic rules. Or that he went to a school where they teach little children to cross the road when the freaking Red Man is shining. Maybe he just couldn't read...although, it's not like there's a lot to be read.
I pity the motorcyclist though.
Scratched bike. Injured body. And having to get really mad at the wrong time...before bed-time. lol

Lim Kay Tong was right.
If you had watched Front3, you would get an idea of what i'm going to say.
He said that in the 60s and 70s, there were a lot of malay movies being made and shown on the big screen. But today, there are like...none.
Ain't that right?
Everyone knows Eric Khoo, yes?. Jack Neo? I Not Stupid...That girl who made the movie Window Shopping. I've forgotten who. And Royston Tan. All of his movies are titled using numbers e.g. 15 & 881.

Nevermind. Forget that

Listen to Tracy Chapman people.....! Trust me on this one. Listen to her and you'll fall in love. Serious.
And if anyone of ya'all thought the song 'Baby Can I Hold You' was an original by Ronan Keating or Boyzone, you're mighty wrong. Tsk tsk

What is a man without vices?

2008-01-05T02:13:00.000+08:00

I have Viewty in my hands now. Muahahaha

Not for long though. It's on a 'loan' kinda thing.

But i've held it in my hand.

I've fondled it.
Caressed it.
Ogled at it.
Caressed it some more.
Ahhh...

Shoot! Accident at the junction outside my window. Accidents are more interesting. So....

2008-01-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

That new phone by LG. Whatsit called? Viewty right? Yeah...that's the one. It's a looker that one. Ya-huh...Real beauty. Touch-screen baby...Oooo! Touch-screeeenn!

iPod iTouch could be my love too. I would be too happy to touch it really. If only i could lick its screen.....ahhhh

I am trying to collect everything that is touch-screenish. Yup. Don't know why....yet. But i'll get to the bottom of this. I think this has something to do when i was a wee bit. I contemplate it's the thumb-sucking thing i had. Hmmmm....?

If you haven't noticed, i'm not writing in my native language anymore. The sentence i had just built is so funny, i'm actually laughing right now. Its like it's not that hard to notice the i've stopped writing in Malay and that.....'my native language'??? lol

So yeah...Not going to write in Malay for sometime now. A friend politely told me that i sound, get this, like a "Mat Johor" when i write in my native language. rofl.
When someone tells you that you sound like the people you don't really have an inclination to emulate, well.....you kinda don't do it.

Tomorrow's Friday. Yeay...

Oh ya...Thanks to my friend at work, I now know of more places you could bring your date and score major points. Points babey....! Points....!

Love Vicks!

2008-01-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

Hey hi, hello there.
It's the New Year aye? Ok, cool. If there's one things i've learned, it is not to look back in life retrospective. A character in a game once told me...."To look back into the past is futile...." Wow!, i'd say. But then again....

It has been that long since i last wrote in here. Damn, that's long. I miss writing. Really do. It's just that sometimes, you really can't seem to put your thoughts into words. Odd. That is why i carry around with me a journal. It's my saviour that one. Helps to ease my mind. That journal was the reason i could go on without writing here. Uh-huh...... Well, someone really famous did mention something about journal doing something for you so, i guess, it has to be good for anyone.

So yeah...

Oh! I Am Legend is good. See the good there. Not great or wonderfully excellent but just good. Will Smith is still at his best. But the ending for the movie is just.....bleargh!

Oh ya people....If you all didn't already know this, i'm telling you. Music is a good therapeutic channel. Yup..

Am listening to 'Daddy Cool' by Boney M. Go on and watch their video. You will laugh.

Oh! Before i forgot...My New Year's Resolution. My Resolution for this year is......trying to have one.

M. Night Shyamalan next movie is called 'The Happening'. Its tag-line goes something like ' We've Sensed It. We've Seen the Signs. Now...It's Happening.' Cool huh? Here's hoping he won't be doing a long 'cameo' again. 'Lady in the Water' was painful you know.

2007-11-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

Hari ini aku berjumpa dengan seorang yang unik. Dia telah membuat aku terfikir-fikir tentang dirinya. Mungkin pada mata orang lain, beliau tidak sebegitu unik. Tetapi untuk aku, beliau adalah seseorang yang aku tidak dapat banyak berjumpa dimana-mana.

Kata-kata yang keluar dari mulutnya adalah seperti suatu bahasa yang baru. Sebutan beliau tidak salah. Beliau juga tidak salah dengan penggunaan kekata. "Reverse bukan 'gostan', Nal. Mana ada perkataan 'gostan' dalam bahasa melayu", katanya.

Apa-apa yang dikata-kata olehnya bersopan tetapi tersirat di dalamnya adalah cebisan marahnya terhadap aku."Pakai baju, ukur di badan sendiri", ujarnya memberi aku nasihat yang seakan-akan menyindir ku.

Mungkin hari ini bukan hari aku, tetapi aku sangka, hari ini bukan hari dia juga. Aku memang pasti beliau tidak senang dengan cara-cara aku sendiri.

Hah! 'Aku' balik...'Saya' terlalu...'pondan' lah. Mungkin waktu bersekolah makan dahulu, 'saya' harus digunakan. Tapi untuk menggunakan 'saya' sekarang, rasanya agak janggal.

Ada sesuatu yang aku ingin sampaikan pada semua. Berita ini tidak sangat mengejutkan. Tidak menyedihkan juga. Malahan, berita ini tidak akan membawa apa-apa emosi pun pada pembaca....mungkin hanya pada aku.
Haiz...Aku hanya ingin memberitahu pada yang membaca, aku sudah berhenti merokok. Uhuh...Sudah tidak lagi. Kemungkinan untuk selamanya...hmm
'Eh awak, kite berhenti sebab awak suruh tau' :)

Sudahlah, itu saja untuk sekarang. 'Beribu bintang dilangit.....'
Ketiduran dulu aku menyusur. Semoga mimpi baik hadir malam ini.

2007-11-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

Hello kawan-kawan.
Mungkin anda terperanjat.....terperanjat kerana melihat saya masih menulis di 'blog' ini dalam bahasa melayu. Yang terperanjat bukan anda seorang...saya pun terperanjat ni. Ah!

Sesuatu lagi yang memeranjatkan juga adalah penggunaan perkataan 'aku' dan 'saya'. Ye, perkataan 'saya' ini lebih sopan lah. 'Aku' itu lebih kasar atau ganas. Tidak bagus.

Eh, hari ini banyak juga perkara-perkara yang memeranjatkan ya.

Oh ya!
Satu lagi benda yang akan memeranjatkan semua. Saya ada sebuah puisi untuk dibentangkan.
Jadi, terima lah puisi saya yang pertama. Woot!

Insan memang enggan boleh hidup menyendiri
di dalam kesunyian malam dingin sepi
ruangan yang sempit menghimpit
menyepit naluri rindunya
pada kebebasan untuk
berbicara
&
merasa semua

Mimpi manis semua....!

2007-10-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

Masalah aku sekarang ialah aku terlalu penat. Bila aku terlalu penat, aku akan berkata-kata bermacam hal yang tidak masuk akal. Pokoknya harus ditebang....hahaha. Pokoknya, hari ini tidak sesuai untuk aku menyeleraikan pikiran ku dengan menulis. Sememangnya aku memang penat, aku akan bersambung menulis di hari yang lain. Selamat malam dan selamat bermimpi semua :)

2007-10-31T00:03:00.000+08:00

Test....test!

Hahaha....

Hari ini aku nak cube buat sesuatu yang tak pernah aku buat untuk entah berapa lame. Aku ingin menulis dalam bahase melayu. Ye....bahase melayu. Bukan bahase baku tetapi. Bahase melayu yang normal. Eh, melayu ade perkataan normal kan?

Untuk blog aku ini, inilah kali pertama kata-kata melayu di lihat. Bukan nya aku tidak bangga dengan asal-usul aku dengan menulis dalam bahasa orang barat, cuma aku lebih selesa menulis dalam bahasa orang barat. Mungkin aku tidak memupuk keinginan untuk membaiki bahsa melayu aku. Tetapi aku tidak boleh disalahkan. Sememangnye aku didedahkan kebanyakkan masa hidup ku ini pada unsul-unsul barat. Tetapi......mungkin memang salah aku lah. Warisan dan tradisi aku tidak aku junjung malahan aku banggakan warisan dan tradisi kaum yang lain.

Mungkin ada yang tertanya. Apakah aku ni sudah gila? Mengapa berubah? Hohoho...! (hmm)

Tidak wahai kawan-kawan ku. Aku belum lagi gila. Aku hanya ingin mencuba. Mencuba menulis dalam bahasa yang indah lagi manis. Ya, aku selalu anggapkan bahasa melayu ini bahasa yang manis, bersopan-santun dan menenangkan. Perasaan yang terakhir itu aku kurang pasti sangat lah. Ada jugak tulisan bahasa melayu yang membawa perasaan geram dan marah.
Sebab sebenar aku menulis dalam bahasa melayu adalah kerana kebelakangan ini, aku kerap mendengar lagu-lagu kumpulan rock Indonesia. Yang selalu aku dengar sekarang adalah kumpulan Ungu. Suke banget dengan lagu 'Andai ku Tahu'. Banget itu bahasa melayu atau bahasa indonesia?

Ada kemungkinan besar, aku akan mula menulis sebegini untuk satu minggu....atau tidak. Kita akan lihat lah bagaimana aku merasa pada hari-hari yang akan datang. Bukannya menulis dalam bahasa melayu ini mengikut perasaan aku, tetapi tidak semua yang aku ingin sampai kan memerlukan aku menulis dalam bahasa melayu. Ada kalanya, aku ingin sampaikan sesuatu yang mengusutkan pikiran aku ini dengan bahasa orang barat. Lebih 'specific'.

Aku juga perasan sesuatu sambil melungsuri internet ini. Bahasa melayu ini lebih 'sedap' dibaca/didengar/dilihat bila seseorang itu ingin menyampaikan kisah-kisah cinta. Soal cinta yang menusuk kalbu lebih baik kalau ditulis dalam bahasa melayu. Seperti telah aku katakan, bahasa melayu ini manis dan bersopan.

Dengan ini, ingin aku mengundur diri untuk bersiap untuk tidur. Selamat malam semua :)

2007-10-26T00:22:00.000+08:00

Let me start by saying....
Forget all i've said about writing more often and stuff. Just take a look at what has happened. Nearly two months. Yes? Lol.

Now now...Where can i start?
Oh yes!...I'm killing myself. No joke this is. I really need to quit the stick. Yes, the smoking ones. That's what i call them here. The smoking stick or 'the stick'.
Before i start the stick, i had set the one goal in mind. To get in and get out with no glitch. You know what i mean? But....
Imagine this, a man given a box of stick and given no control whatsoever. I'm that man.
I think i could die young. No no! This is not some sad thing but just the truth. Unfortunately, this truth is quite sad. Boo hoo...!

Listening to Ingrid Michaelson now. She is just cute. Long hair, fair-skinned and thick-rimmed glasses. Just cute.
Her song 'The Way I Am' is very cute. Very very cute

Here's a thought....i don't mind dying young actually but...
I don't want to die single or unmarried. An ex-gf will do fine.
At least she will remember my death-day...if she hates me that much.

2007-09-09T00:50:00.000+08:00

Just got back. Kinda. Well, something like that.
Town's a bore these days. Actually....., it has always been a bore. Its just that we hardly noticed. I guess the friends you hang out with matters in the end.

Two horror movies in a week. I don't know., but is this the average number of movies a normal guy would watch in a week? Hell...., who cares?

Dead Silence on Monday. James Wan and Leigh Whannell were the writers of the movies. These two are the ones responsible for the Saw trilogy(Last i heard, theres gonna be a Saw 4. Woot!!) Just as expected of these guys, there is a twist at the ending. Good show. Nice ending. Wouldn't watch it again. Anyways, Jigsaw the puppet makes a cameo appearance in this movie.

'1408'. John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson. Two very fine actors. 2 woots for them. Woot! Woot!. '1408' is a print-to-screen movie. You know Stephen King? Well, who doesn't. I'm guilty of reading some of his books, which i was not surprised to see, many of them being made into a movie. The Shining anyone?
Now '1408' is kinda like The Shining. Man enters hotel. Psychological tortures ensues not too long after. Man feels like killing himself. Man sees hope through the memory of daughter/wife/family and is saved. Or is he? Now that we don't know for sure. Watch it to know it.
This kind of movie i love. The kinds that make my grey matter and white matter do a little work of sorts. Although this one don't need you to think too much. Good show.Scary/Weird ending. Will watch it a few more times. Say, 2 or 3 more times.

I've yet to catch the movie Black Snake Moan. I'm thinking its a really good show. I don't really know for sure but its looking goood.
DayWatch too.
And Planet Terror.
What about that movie with that Clive Owen, Shoot 'Em Up. That one looks really interesting.
When?Where? and Who?

I love French speaking ladies.

2007-08-29T22:42:00.000+08:00

I have a skeleton in my closet to show you.

This had happened a long time ago. I have forgotten how i felt when this happened but hey!, like i've said, this happened a long time ago.

So me and this other friend were at the library to study for our O levels examination. We found ourselves an empty table which is large enough to fit another two people.
Lo and behold! Here comes right at us, 2 girls, asking whether they could join us. We agreed. A seizing look, a smile and we were back to our studies.
As would all studying in libraries would become, this one had us end up talking to the girls. Topics after topics and we reached the part about sign languages. I know the ABCs of sign language and apparently one of those girls also knew it.
So she said she had a question to ask privately. She suggested sign language so the rest of us can't understand us both.

She asked, lengthily through As and Hs and Ms, spelling each word letter by letter, whether she could know the name of someone. That someone whom she is pointing with a pen she had placed on the table. The person on the end of that pen was my friend.
At that point i did what i did. I told her i couldn't understand what she had signed. No matter how many times she had tried repeating what she had signed i was adamant that i was confused/not sure/had mistaken it for some other rudimentary signs.

That day my friend walked home not knowing what i knew.

2007-08-27T22:41:00.000+08:00

CroCop is in UFC!!
CroCop is in mada faka UFC!!!
Damn...!!

Damn! Damn!

Anyways...Hola! Lol!

2007-08-13T21:02:00.000+08:00

I like Mondays. No bad Monday Blues for me. There is though, but not bad enough to dampen my spirits for the whole day.
I hate Wednesday though. That day really just suck ass. You are not early in the week nor are you at the end near any weekends. You are *splat* in the middle of the week. Hah!

Visited Stomp today. Hahaha...That website is already making waves all around Singapore.
I find it rather funny. Singaporeans are a bunch of funny people. Hehehe.
Their favourite pastime, complaining. So this is where they diss and hiss about matters that don't really matter in the hopes of people sharing the hate that they are creating. Funny innit?
What's with all these phone with cameras and stuff. These are arsenal to these group of people to gather more photos or videos so they can create animosity.
So i say, we should look out for ourselves. Let's not create a situation where people could put us at the end of their pointed fingers.
Be wary people for those sneaky cameras.

The Godfather says,"Every man has but one destiny".

----------------
Listening to: Jamie Cullum - Can't We Be Friends?
via FoxyTunes

2007-08-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

Hey ya people...What's new?
I just bought Death Proof's Soundtrack CD. I shall say that i will like this one for a long time to come. Quentin rocks baby!!

Did you know? Eli Roth is the director of Hostel and Hostel Part II. Eli Roth also plays Sylar in the series Heroes. And he has a contribution in the Death Proof's Soundtrack too. Cool ay

----------------
Listening to: An April March - Chick Habit
via FoxyTunes

2007-08-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

Hola everyone. I am very sleepy right. Dam sleepy... But i am here to write just so you all do not think of me as a person who do not do what he says. Whats that saying again? 'You practice what you preach'. yeah...

i'm confused and i'm sleepy. Any remedy for that anyone?

I have the DVD Citizen Kane but i've not been able to watch as yet. Anyone has watched it already? Do tell me if its good. According to my research on the net(nowadays, evryone is a researcher), this movie is number one of the best movie ever made list. Its black and white. How good can it be? But Schindler's List is also black and white. I have the movie The Fountain. I'll be watching this one anytime this week. Rachel Weisz(is this rite?) is in it so i trust it is good.

Listening to Incubus right now. Great band.

I just bought a book on poems by Edgar Allen Poe. Been reading a few bits of it and i have some problems really understanding his poems. Either it is really deep of i am foolish enough to actually try to understand him. His short stories are quite ok(quite is the word). His poems are not though. Maybe i'm still not properly equipped with the right 'tool's to understand them. In time i will understand...

I still have ringgit in my wallet. I did not bother to change them back to S$ because if i did i would be at a loss. So i think i will just keep them.

The Godfather would say,'I will make him an offer he will not refuse'.

2007-08-04T00:38:00.000+08:00

So yeah, i'm gonna start writing again. I've totally forgot about writing entirely. Well...not really. Its just that time was short for me the past months. Thanks to you, i will be writing again. Though i have no confidence this is going to be a long affair, i'm gonna stick to it for as long as possible.

I don't have much to write about here but its enough. It is more of me trying to put the thoughts in my mind into words that will be comprehensible to many. The thing about me is that i have difficulty trying to express myself verbally. Its not like i am good with written words but its just that there's always that 'Backspace' button. Useful piece of tool that thing.

Listening to the band Disagree while writing this. Got this new add-on for my Mozilla. 'Foxy-Tunes'. Really cool ah. Plays music without the need of any player. It is a player by itself so yeah. And it is supported by a lot of website. For example, Blogger. All hail open-source technology!!! Woot-Woot!

Mocha latte is my new favourite drink. It is nice to drink from the glass mug but it will be a hell lot better in a take-away cup. Cheers to this!

O ya! I'm reading Mario Puzo's The Godfather right now. It is a very very engaging book. I can't wait to watch the movie already. Will try to get the dvd at Mustaffa Centre any time next week. Let's hope the dvd will not the dissapoint me which the book did not.

2007-02-11T19:22:00.000+08:00

.....Cool!
Found this in my hard-disk just now.

"if love is wat u feel, love is not what you shall have.

if love is painful, my wounds will never heal...

like the indispensible coins in my pockets. used when needed, forgotten when not.

make me yearn for you and satisfy yourself with my broken heart.

this heart will heal with scars all over.

my heart is a jigsaw puzzle taht can be torn apart.

why create this space between us?

as always i lose.

i'm just &*^%ed up that you kept mum.

if you just know what i think of you.

i'm bored of all these.

why do you make me feel love and decides to take it all away when i was falling for you?

to fall in the bottomless pit they called love.

i will never be good enough for you.

i will never have the qualities that will make you look my way."

Was surprised by it. Very surprised. Didn't know i wrote that a long time ago.
But, i guess, now things are a little bit different. No more sad stories. If there are sad stories, then it would be of random creation. That's it! No more sad-emo-self-damning-kind of writings. Random it will be.

2006-10-22T17:40:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the world premiere showcase of yours truly when he was exactly 1 year old. Enjoy!

That's me!! Hahaha. Me and my favourite pillow of that time. And yes i do. I do thumb suck. I thumb suck all the time. Especially when i'm lonely and have nothing to do. Some may ask whether i still suck my thumb now. Of course not! I am done sucking thumbs. Haha!

Notice the date. That's my birthday there. I guess mummy and daddy was doing some kind of photoshoot for their angel on his birthday there. Didn't know i was photogenic back then. Hah!

I was too eager to take a photo of myself. That is when i grabbed that camera and took some myself. And if you were to notice there, you could see my dimples. Woot! Woot! Hahahahaha.

I drooled! Damn it! Of all things to do when taking a photo, i actually drooled. I guess i was liking it too much.

That's her. Me mum. Me love me mum. Love her with all me heart and soul. You hurt me mum's heart, me hurt you bad.

That's my dad. Like all men are, they don't show how much they love you. But i know he loves me. He may sound like he hates me and all, but he loves me still. Men..

So there you are. Me when i was exactly a year old.

Toodles!

2006-10-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

I'm free yet again. For just another day or two that is. But hey!, i'm free and that is all that matters now.

NS is actually fun. You should try it. I'm serious...

Going out later on. Gonna go shopping i think. If not, its just a meeting with friends whom i've not met for months.
Going Geylang too later. Went there last night and yeah....

Didn't even remember that today is Hafizah's birthday. Happy Birthday Hafizah! May you have a fulfilling life ahead and a wonderful mate in the near future.

Oh ya! While rummaging through some old pictures, i found photos of yours truly when he was a wee year old. Haha! Didn't remember those times though......Oh, and one more thing. These dimples...they're original. You can see them in those photos. Hah!

OK! bye!

2006-09-30T17:12:00.000+08:00

I've had my block leave. 2 days worth of it that is. Sad lah... Others got to have two weeks of block leave and all i got was just two days. And after the block leave its confinement again. 10 days of confinement. 10 long days! Haiz...

And now i'm out. Not for long though. After today, i'll be back in there.

Ramadhan's in. Uhuh... No more Starbucks for me aye. Not till after sun down that is.

I wanna go buy 'DMZ'!!!

2006-09-17T14:11:00.000+08:00

What is up?

Told y'all i'll be back. So here i am. Back. Just as promised.

3 mths has passed and gone away. Passed and gone away rather quick i should say. Too quick even.

But what that 3 mths has been is the best 3 mths in my life. Wouldn't trade it with anything in the world. Not even the Simpson's DVD box-set.

Will tell more some other time.....

2006-06-02T01:44:00.000+08:00

i'll be back y'all.......

2006-03-16T23:47:00.000+08:00

"In My Head"

I try to think about rainbows

When it gets bad

2006-03-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

Hahaha....
I just received an e-mail. No, this is not any ordinary e-mail i'm talking about. This e-mail is sent by me. That's why i'm happy.
Thanks to FutureMe.org, i am able to communicate with the future me. And i'm so happy for that.
After this, i am going to write myself another e-mail which i'm going to read in the future. Yeah!

While writing this, i was writing an e-mail to myself set 30 days into the future. Talked about myself mostly. Well, what else can i talk about. I couldn't waste an e-mail on World Peace and have it sent to me in the near future. So yeah!
I was reading through some random e-mail from people who are sending it to themselves in the future and i came across one sad e-mail.....

".....So I guess I just wanted to end this by saying, I hope to hell you're doing better by the time you get this, because anything worse might just kill me. I've been slowly dying on the inside since 1997 and I'm not sure how much I've got left.

In much pain,
Yourself
p.s. i didn't really re-read or edit this so forgive the contextual inconsistencies......"

That was an excerpt of her e-mail. I feel soory for her. That she is still single and has only her cats for company in her house is a sad thing to know. Haizz.....

2006-03-12T01:27:00.000+08:00

Don't want to say much here. But i will let the photos do the talking for me. Cheers!

Below here are some videos i took of the guys juggling a soccer ball. On the second video, i got to juggle the ball too.

2006-02-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone.....

I'm Doe. John Doe. Right now, i am standing in for Zainal. It seems he was not able to blog these past few weeks and he will still not be able to blog for the next few weeks. It is apparent to you people what the cause is. Am i right? Well, for those who didn't know, i will tell you this. Zainal is experiencing a lot of pressure. He was caught up with projects the past weeks. And now, he has exam papers to study for.

Actually, i feel sorry for him. Just last week, i saw him on PC the whole week. He was completing his project and studying for two common test papers at the same time. And this week, i see him slogging away in the dead of the night with a friend of his under the void-deck. Studying all the way into the wee hours and having just little sleep. It deeply saddens me to see him bring himself to that state. If only i could help him in other ways.

For now, i am helping him update his blog. The reason is because i think his blog simply needs updating. And people should also know the situation he is in right now. Do give him a call sometime to check his condition.

I haven't actually introduced myself properly. My name is John Doe. I have no family. I help out with the imaginaries and fantasies. I am in no relation to Zainal but i'm just here to help him. I hope that is enough about me.

So, what does Zainal usually writes about in his blog? What is it that he loves to write about? To be frank here, i have not much idea what he likes to write about. It seems(from reading the archives) he writes just about anything. From the simple living to the hard facts of reality. he has wrote all about it. What is it he hasn't actually write about?

Death. Yea. He hasn't wrote anything about Death or anything relating to it. Is he scared of Death? Is that why he hasn't wrote anything about it? Nah...! He's not scared of Death. That's for sure. Maybe he's waiting for a good interpretation for Death. Who knows? Death some sort is becoming a cliche like in the song 'Helena' and 'Ghost of You'......

I managed a snigger or two while reading Zainal's old entry where he writes about the kind of girl he would like to meet or something like that. I was thinking to myself, 'Hey, this guy is pretty corny.' Hahaha.....Sorry my friend but you do sound a little corny back then no matter how honest you were. Hahaha!

Alrightey then, i shall be going now. I've done my part here by just babbling nonsense. Bye-bye now.....

2006-02-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

Bad Man.
He's bad.
Nuff said.

When he's around, people are not smilling, they are crying and they are stomping their feets up and down the lane.
He should have just stayed in the plane.
People will be happy if he's not there.
Not here but anywhere.

It is not like Bad Man doesn't know what's causing all the unhappiness.
He just needs to mind his own business.
To meddle...It is not fun.
Not for him. Certainly not for anyone.

Bad Man thinks he's Superman.
But he's just a nut inside a can.
"To save the day, huh?", Superman says to Bad Man.
"Why don't you go over there and play with the sand?"

"That is by far, the best idea i've ever heard!", Bad Man says to himself.
There he goes after putting the comic back on the shelf.
And on the sand lot he sat.
And not a sound he made.

Surely something must be going on in his head.
Whatever it is, surely its not hate.
Then suddenly Bad Man rose.
It looks like he has got something to say. Maybe a prose?

Words started to form on his mouth.
But not before he stared momentarily at South.
"I'm sorry", he said. Only that??
And the look on his face. Is he actually sad?

He continued,"I will keep in mind not to do that again."
"I hope that will help", he said in vain.
He started to sit back on the spot he stood.
And continue playing with the goods.

2006-02-01T09:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Mardia,
I've read your blog. And it surprises me a little. Why? Because i didn't know it was going to be like that. I thought it was something like i had, which is nothing compared to what you have. Now i know the severity of it.

So the doctor has said a lot of things. Whats with the Mt Everest and Gunung Ledang thingy. And the 'not allowed to run until Cardiac review' thingy. And 'no more silat'. But what do the doctors actually know? Well, surely they do know a lot of things. But does she know anything about you at all? Other than the heart problem that you are suffering from, she doesn't know much. All that she has told you not to do....well, those are just precautionary advice.

I should think you should be able to do the things you like most. Anything. Even climbing to the top of Mt Everest. If that's your cup of tea or coffee or latte. Nothing should stop you from doing the things you like most. Not anyone, anything or any doctor.

And what's the deal about hating yourself. What's that? Young people these days...tsk tsk tsk. So much emotions, so much pain bottled up. So what now? Anyone can hate themselves for being sick or different? Is that it? So if the next guy who comes in with an extra pair of hand, he should hate himself if he wants to. Right? Come on now.

What does hating yourself/your life do for you? I don't know about you but it would certainly make me feel much worse. Much, much worse. Lighten up a little bit. You should feel happy that you've got just one pair of hands and a still working heart. You can run and jump and cycle and eat on your own. Some people actually needs help doing those kind of actions. You don't. What you need is to feel gay.

All in all, you should heart your life.

2006-01-28T00:34:00.000+08:00

There was now way i am going to let afternoon off without it giving my sleep. No way.....! Night has taken my sleep away and fondled with it and left me with nothing. Night is so evil. Morning is damn stingy. Damn you morning! I will assure that night will not come until i get a little sleep from afternoon.
Be it phone calls, messages, threats of any kinds or a damsel in distress, i won't be entertaining any of them(or anything similar to it) till i'm 'recharged'.

I really need the rest i should get. I wasn't functioning properly and wasn't even talking right. Can't think straight and was doodling in lectures with my eyes close.Was getting paranoid and it gets much worse if not treated accordingly. Boy was i 'recharged' after afternoon left today. Thanks for co-operating you all.

I can't really put all the blame on night, morning, or even afternoon. The school is the main culprit. Go read Firdaus's blog and tell me it's not their fault. Damn you
Bro Firdaus, relax. I know this is a tumultous time for all of us. What's with the deadlines and tests and exams and Daren(he's this guy in our class who is more irritating than your neighbour's dog). We will get through all this. And all the confusion and the rushings and the suffering will end. It will end soon enough. We will just have to hold on tight will we go through this hell of a ride.

Was enjoying my sweet, sweet sleep when there was the sound of the police siren wailing. Thinking some petty criminal might be on his way to be caught, i got aroused. A while later, i got to know the criminal i'm talking about is non-existent. It was my handphone that has been ringing. A few messages and two calls. Though there's one message that starts a chain of events in my day today.

It was from Mardia. One thing led to another and there i was at C.W.P.(Causeway Point). Walking around with her with nowhere to go in particular. Then an idea hit me. How bout we go Bugis Junction? My friend could be working his shift tonight and if we are lucky, we could get to drink free coffee-anything. So it was all set. But it was already late to actually go to Bugis right then. So we came up with another idea. How bout a movie?

Firstly it was 'Memoirs of a Geisha'. Then the the showtimes is just not right. Next!
It was 'Fearless' then. And what a great movie it was. Damn, damn damn shiok! It was fight, fight, fight from start to the end. 4/5. It is that good. And that's the last movie Jet Li will star in. And it is his best movie i've watched.

Mardia, the next time people ask you to join them go clubbing, do not, i repeat, DO NOT turn down them down. Go. i should think it is fun there. Am i right? Cos i haven't been to any before. It's fun right? Right?

2006-01-23T23:34:00.000+08:00

How many was that?

1. Flash Assignment 1
2. WBIS Lab 4
3. Communication Skills Presentation
4. National Education Presentation
5. Communication Skills E-Test

5! All that down and out. On this very day. Finally....! Told you there is gonna be lots and lots of projects. Lots and lots of them are coming my way still. Gotta brace myself before they hit hard.

Qsn: What is a good way to relieve yourself of the stress that have been building up in you over the past weeks?

Ans: Gamings, window-shopping, talking(crap) and eating(not crap).

My partner in crime? Mardia.

Claims that she's 'free'. And yes, i do think lectures are boring too, so we should just skip them and miss all the importants topics that they are going through and we would struggle later to catch up with the rest of them who are way, way ahead of us and we would need to quadruple our efforts to study cause we are really behind those who attends lectures without fail. Since she's so free and wants to do something else other than trying to access inaccessible websites on the computers in the ELP, i decided to go for an X-Box session.

'Fight Night 2'. The game we were playing. To tell you all the truth, she actually trashed me. 3 times in a row. She beats me 3 times in a row. She's good so don't mess with her. She was 'floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bee'.......

I forgot to mention this. We were 'X-Boxing' (pun intended) at Dhoby Ghaut MRT station and so the nearest place to window shop is PS. That's Plaza Singapura for the cave-men out there.

Went FNT(don't ask me what it means), S&K(thats Samuel and Kevin), Marks & Spencer, Espirit and many other stores which i forgot their name. Mardia tried one clothes which she likes very much in FNT. I think its nice and she should get it. Fits her very well. What's more, it is black.

Then it was lunch or was it dinner(?), at LJS. LJS means Long John's Silver. Although, i would like to eat at Taco's Bell but the nearest outlet would be at Lido. That's too far. LJS is fine. While eating we talked some more. Then we fought. Then we kissed and make up. It was tiring.

Then Mardia has to go to KK Hospital to visit her cousin. And i got to get home and type this out and then go to sleep a.s.a.p.

A.S.A.P.

2006-01-12T23:52:00.000+08:00

Common test is over. Woot! Revert to my non-study mode now. Wanna have a little fun before things pick up and before time becomes scarce. I can see it already. Projects, projects and projects. Yup. That is what i'm seeing in the near future. And beyond that, more projects.

Tommorrow....hmmm. What should i do about tommorrow? Have it well spent? Or go with the flow? The flow. Yeah, the flow. As in join some groups of friends hang out somewhere in the town area. Or i could go to the gym and have a swim in school. Or i could go to a gig in school. Or i could go to my favourite hang-out spot and catch up on the things i like doing. CoffeeBeans@Borders. Or i could go to Kino to buy some books.

I need a Magic Eight Ball.

2006-01-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

What if's?

What if Big Brother actually exists? Keeping tab on us all. Watching our every moves. What if?

Can anyone actually accept that our lives is being intruded by the government? Take this blog, or any other blogs for example. Are all this read by anyone working for the government? What if it is?

Ever talk to a friend on the phone about politics? Any kind of politics. Try talking a thing or two about people like 'Lee Kuan Yew' or 'Lee Hsien Loong' or maybe 'Chiam See Tong' on the phone with a friend. Do that and try not to imagine the sound of the click of the recorder on the phone.

The websites you visited. Are your activity on the Internet recorded? Is there another person on the other side tracking your every clicks?

Do they have access to your emails? Maybe. Maybe they have like the mother-of-all-passwords that they could use any where.

Maybe, just maybe we live in a world not made for the anarchists in us.

2006-01-07T22:37:00.000+08:00

You could play chess. Or you could collect stamps. Some read and there are others who plays some musical instrument. But no...Of all the myriad hobbies out there, he/she chooses to play around with love. Its not like i'm saying that love has become a hobby for some, but it shows. To revel themselves in a thing they called love. To feel the heat. And then get burned. And then playing with the same kind of fire all over again. Why?
When things happen, it happens. Don't everyone think the same? Just 'wait' and it will come about. Only time is the factor. I'm not saying you shouldn't meddle with it at all but don't let it consume all of your 'teen-time'.

'Rewang' was great. Was enjoying myself there the whole time. Woot!

Common test......
...Whoa...!
...................
Relax.............
Three words.
.....Just do it.

2006-01-05T23:48:00.000+08:00

Here's a tips. Suscribe to AnakMelayu.com if you like 'minahs' and 'mats'. They have them in baskets-full there. You don't have to search for them even. If you're 'lucky', some might come your way.
Maybe my definition of 'mats' and 'minahs' is all wrong....maybe. So i might be wrong with my tips up there.

'Profiling Highly Violent Crimes' is a good book. Written by two writers. It is so easy to read the book and the terms they used are simple. The book is actually for those who are on the way to becoming a profiler with the police department. Why am i reading that book? Because i'm crazy. Thats why.... hahaha.

In it, it tells you the five components that makes up a personality in any individual. The five components are...erm, i forgot all five. But it was kinda true. One of them, if i could remember correctly, is 'Unique Experiences'. Yea, unique ones. Like how your friends would wallop you in class in secondary school. I guess you could count that as unique..ahahaha. And yes, that somehow makes up a little of your personality.

Futureme.org..Go! Its for your greater good.

2006-01-04T23:13:00.000+08:00

*cough* *cough*

*looks around*

*shouts* I'm back!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah man. I'm here to stay and write. Write my way to world domination. Hahaha....
It really feels great to be up and writing all over again. Woot!!

Haaa...It has been a long while. A long long while...hah. How's everyone? Wait...The question should be..Where is everyone? hahahaha

Why?...Why have i come back? I don't how to answer that. I think its much more of relieving boredom. Ya? Yup, thats what i think it is. I'm bored and that is why i have come back here. To entertain the world with my writings(i will try).

I think theres one very important thing that i need to do. To change my layout....hahaha. It's so..so.....so grey. haha. What's a good colour for this blog? Light black or dark black? hahahahahahaha.....

I will leave you to read this rather funny but true quote form Mark Twain.
'All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, -- then success is assured.'
Letter to Mrs Foote, Dec. 2, 1887

y?stress lah....project only....

2005-08-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

hello everyone!welcome again to the final episode of Mr Dugong.....

it seems my FYP supervisor is not finished with me.i haf to meet him in skul tomoro.now, tat has to suck...it sucks big time.seriously....nothing sucks dirt more than this.

sadarkan aku yang berjalan, dlm kehampaan.....
still stuck in my mind.it induces a feeling u don't feel everyday.yeah......

true to wat i wrote up there....this is my last entry,here.this is the last time i'm gonna write stuffs/my rants/my problems/my life generally,in here.i've thought long about this decision.and today,i'm gonna execute it.lets hope there will be no repercussions,no problems and above all no regrets.yup...no regrets.tats the most important thing i shud remember.
those two rants up there u see,those are it.i haf my own reason as to y i decide to do this.like i've said,i've thought long about this.long enough to come up with this result.
so,from now on i m no more here,rambling about my lousy life.i'm no more here to let u'all in into a loser's life.from now on,u will be free....free from me.easy as tat.
those bloggers/frens i have linked-up here stays.my present and past(few of them) entries stays.the tag-board stays.but i will go.i will go away...they are all gonna stay.
i m gonna miss all this...and lots lots more.i m certainly gonna miss writing,gonna miss people's comments,gonna miss the thrill of writing to an audience
the sad feeling is there,but waddahell.

so,no more next time huh?

quick one.

2005-07-29T16:00:00.000+08:00

Got a few minutes before i haf to really go.

Someone called.....mayb she misses me?awww....miss u too lah.(come on man,no mushy stuffs!)oh ok....someday we meet?how bout tat?

i miss someone too...its been sometime we haven't met.hey there!if u're listening....how bout a movie? hmm? how bout the island? u wanted to watch it didn't u? hmm? give me a ring-a-ling is u're not busy ya.....

MxPx- GSF

You didn't have to be so mean to me
I guess now I see how it's gonna be
I'm joining GSF, I've made up my mind
Forget this thing called love, it's a waste of time
Girls ain't no good anymore, anywayyy..
Not for one second have I understood
Why they do what they do, why they say what they say
Always happens to my friends, it always happens to me
It's taken me 19 years to finally see
She said "Can we just be friends?
It's just not working out."
Another broken heart that I can do without...do withoutttt..
Girls ain't no good anymore, anywayyy..
Not for one second have I understood
Why they do what they do, why they say what they say....

nice! hahahaha....ya it happened to many of us but hey; there are many fishes in the sea.thats wat they always say.

i was presented with a beautiful fish.a fish who would want me for all tat i am.but i threw tat fish back into the sea.y?y i ask myself?.............i still haf no answer.

more on that on the next episode of the Mr Dugong........!

ditto

2005-07-28T15:09:00.000+08:00

gotta go later....blogging now.jus wanna free the mind,let loose............i think.

A penny for a thought.
there are two people is this world.those who look at the big picture and those who prefers to see the smaller things in life.here's wat i think of the latter...they make great poems.yup........they can become gd poets.

'deleted by administrator'

'deleted by administrator'

not lovely

2005-07-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

it seems i can't get the ball rolling in here....so lets start with wat i did today................no,no...it will just make it worse.
say...i will write the things i have given a thought or two to today.
well....wat have this frail mind thought of today....?abt work....argh! lets forget about tat.how about my final year project.....argh!argh!....nono! good thoughts...good thoughts.......ok...i've been thinking of buying a new handset........but lets forget about tat too.there are no good handphones out there tat are worth my money....or vice versa.haha....
yes!...i've been thinking of getting all the good books out there.evryone one of them.those mentioned in the papers and those i would find by myself.and then i would sit,comfortably on a sofa, in my room with the lights dimmed,a cup of plain water by my side,curtains drawn closed,and importantly...the door locked,and then,only then i would start reading all those books.ahhhhh.......such indulgence is near a dream....but possible though.hahahahaha.sweet.
i've thought of getting some of the good songs....by good songs i mean the songs i like.and i'm doing tat right now while writing all this down.one thought has been realised.....uhuh.
there are many more things i have given thought to today...but u know me.i forget....or do i?

...

twice...

2005-07-24T01:03:00.000+08:00

have u'all heard?London got bombed yet again.similar to the first attack though.hmmm....i wonder wat the policeman are doing over there....?

here's a gd website for u budding artists.deviantart.com.they got a large collection of arts from people all round the world.they got stuffs from amateurs to powerful work of art by competent artists.u can even haf ur works of art showcased on their website....it's free, i think.

did we really land on the moon tat fateful day? did we? there are conspiracy theories out there stating tat we never really landed on the moon....ever.are they true? are these theories true? watched a show on tv about these conspiracy theories and the explanation and stuff.they sound credible and all, but still,i know they are just a bunch of bull crap.
for all i know, we did land on the moon.forget the radiation,the shadows,the staged show,the elaborate hoaxes...all i know is tat we landed on the moon on 1969 and tats tat.

...

bye

my wat?

2005-07-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

welcome everyone to yet another rendition of my life.........not.hahaha

Sin City is a good movie to watch.period.

the new song by Padi is stuck in my mind....gd one though.
i know i don't listen to much malay/indon/love songs....but its my problem,ain't it?

ardi.if u r reading this, i want u to know tat i understand now how u felt back then.i feel u man....not literally though.haha.

...

i'm done,i guess.